People Pleasing: Part 1

Recently, my youth group did series on relationships. Really, the whole six part series was great and I gleaned a ton from it. The fifth sermon really hit home for me, though. It was titled "Escaping the People Pleasing Trap."

       People pleasing is something that I think, if we're honest, we all deal with. We want others to like us. We want to please them and make them happy. We never want to let them down. But it's a grave mistake to try and please everyone.

     Here are five ways that the people pleasing trap can hurt you:

       1) It causes you to miss God's purpose for you. When you're focused on other people, you can't focus on what God has for you as an individual. Instead, you're constantly trying to put all of your efforts into people you're trying to please, living in constant fear that you won't measure up.  Proverbs 29:25 says, "The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe." When you're trying to keep everyone happy, you become a clone. That's not what God wants for you. He has a unique, wonderful purpose for you.

       2) It keeps you from growing in your faith. If you're all wrapped up in what other people think of you, you're looking for glory from other people.  John 5:44 states, "How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?" Others' glory is unnecessary. We only need God's approval.

       3) It leads you to sin. People pleasing leads to following the crowd- it leads to conformity. According to Exodus 23:2, “Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you give testimony in a lawsuit, do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd." 

       4) It makes you a hypocrite. When you're trying to be everything to everyone, you start putting on masks, using different expressions for different friends, telling different lies to each social group you hang around with. It's easy to forget who you told what. Luke 16:15 says, "He said to them, ‘You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of others, but God knows your hearts. What people value highly is detestable in God’s sight.’” 

       5) It silences your voice. John 7:12-13 describes a time when people were gossiping about Jesus.  "Among the crowds there was widespread whispering about him. Some said, ‘He is a good man.’ Others replied, ‘No, he deceives the people.’ But no one would say anything publicly about him for fear of the leaders."

     Guys, (and girls, of course) it's time to stop following the crowd. Stop trying to make everyone happy. Take the words of Romans 12:2 to heart: "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will."

-To Be Continued-