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2012. What a crazy year you've been. Heartbreak. Hopes. Pain. Healing. Giving. Taking. Old. New. Ups. Downs. Forward. Backward. Yeah, 2012 had everything.

Looking back I can see God in it all. He needed to get me out an unhealthy situation and He did it... even though I was sure I would never recover. I can truly say that He's got my back.

Even though I still get a longing to go back and change things, that only stays for but a fleeting second and is soon replaced with the wonder of the blessings He's given me in this season: new friends, old friends that I've gotten closer to, new leaders that can strengthen me in ways the old ones never could, new experiences that I wouldn't trade for the world, a new family, a new home, a new view on life, a new way to communicate with people, a new way to minister to people... I could go on forever, it seems.

One HUGE thing: I'm no longer afraid of change! I've always been scared of it, but God's totally got me securely in His arms- even when it seems like I'm alone in the middle of this ocean called life.

As I look ahead to this next year, I can't help but feel an excitement that wells up inside. There's so much the could happen, so much that WILL happen.

So much unknown. It's a little daunting, to be 100% honest. But that's okay. God knows what's next.

As for resolutions, I didn't really think about it till about 10 hours ago as I got ready for a NYE party. I came up with a few, but I'm not going to call them resolutions. I always break those. These are my goals for 2013.

1.) Be myself. Believe it, or not, I get super self-conscious about the way I look, the way I act, the way I laugh too much (It's true... I giggle a ton.) but I need to get over it. I'm the way God made me. I should be happy with that. I need to remember that God calls me beautiful and perfect and that's all that matters. It's easier said than done, but I want to be authentic. I don't want to pretend I have it all together, when I'm falling apart. I want to be the way God made me. I want to be real. I want to be me.

2.) Be more intentional about my relationship with Christ. Confession: I haven't been totally consistent with reading my Bible lately. THAT seriously needs to change. I'm should never get too busy for God. He deserves EVERY SINGLE second of my time, and yet I don't give Him a fraction of what I should. I'm changing that.

3.) Encourage people as often as possible. Guess what? I don't always see the bright side. I'm sarcastic. Sometimes I'm downright mean and according to the Bible (Ephesians comes to mind), that's not okay and doesn't reflect Christ. The Bible says that we should encourage each other. I want to follow the Bible so... guess what I need to be doing? :) I need to encourage people- sincerely, truly encourage them- instead of tearing them down.

4.) Cultivate the gifts God's given me. What do music, photography and writing have to do with each other? They're all talents and gifts that God's given me. I spend a pathetic amount of my time on those things when I compare it to the time I spend on other frivolous activities. Really, would it hurt to take an hour or two and work on these things every day? No. It wouldn't. If I did that, I would be better equipped to glorify God through them.

5.) Be a better sister and daughter. My weeks are crammed full of studying, babysitting, photo-shooting, music playing and keeping up with a hectic schedule. Usually, being a friend takes precedence over being a good family member. (How twisted is that?!) I disrespect my parents and my sister often and that needs to change immediately. My parents are always there for me and my sister is my biggest fan (and critic, of course...) and I tend not to show appreciation for that. I need to show them that I really am grateful for everything they do and that I am learning what they're teaching me. (Yes... even my little sister teaches me things. She's quite wise, actually!)

Hopefully you'll take some time to reflect over this past year. It's been a full one, I'm sure. Maybe you'll even set some goals of your own for this year.

I hope that this next year will hold many adventures and wonderful discoveries. God's always there, holding you... you may get a little wet from the crashing waves, you may even feel like you're drowning, but God's got a plan.

(Random fact: if you search "2013" on google, you'll come up with about a million different 2013 car model pictures and almost no clip art/pictures of the numbers "2013". Trust me, I just tried it.)