(Entry from 1-24-12)
I try to act like I have it all together. I want to be the one that people look at and say “Oh, wow. She has it ALL! I want to be just like her” but, let me be realistic here. I don’t have it all together. If we were to picture the world as an ocean, mine would be the part that gets tossed about quite often. Nothing has drastically changed in my life. I haven’t had a major tragedy. I admit, I’m afraid of the future, I’m scared that I might not make it on my own when I move out of my parents house, I’m even stressed about getting my first job. It feels like someone has taken my little snow globe of a life and turned it upside down. The only thing I know for sure is that God; The Creator of the Universe, My One and Only will always be around. I don’t know his plans (Though I wish I did.) but I know I’ll land right side up when the time comes because He’ll help me flip.
Ok, this is a random thought, but wouldn’t it be weird if photoshop worked in real life? Imagine the possibilities! I’m not sure whether it would be an improvement or a problem in life, though.
Back to my entry…
Lately I’ve been so stressed that I haven’t been able to see straight. (literally… I think I need glasses.) I have been running myself out. I need peace. I want a peace that passes understanding to be my song. (Thank you, Matthew West!) The peace that only God can give. (God, it’s hard to get peace when my lights keep flickering because of the wind. PLEASE make it stop! I want power, Jesus. Electric power. I love energy. You calmed the winds in the Bible and You can do anything. Please do this.) I want His joy and His love to hold me and keep me near him. I want to feel safe in His arms. I want my stress to be gone. I want only You, Lord. Hold Me, Jesus. I am so in love with You.
I’ve got to go to bed. This 16 pt. font is getting blurry. Good Night! (Hope I didn’t scare you away with my first entry!)
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